I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
