3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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