Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Randomize
