Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
