dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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