We're like a lot better than the average bears
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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