just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize