I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
