do herpes really smell.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
