her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
