Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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