It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
