he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
