I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
