I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
