so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
