well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
This is the high leading the old right now
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
