There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
