this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
