just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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