We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
your like the ambassador to my penis.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
