with your own penis?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
