somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
