No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
