look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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