so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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