I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
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