I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
