I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
