If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
