Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
