I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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