So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
