Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
