just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
i think im in europe. pls send help
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
