So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I love having hate sex.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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