I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
