Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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