you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
