That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
