can u get pink eye on your cock?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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