Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It's blow job season.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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