Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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