How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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