Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
