I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
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