ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
