so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Randomize
