We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
