I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
