You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
