5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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