Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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