If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
