We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize