this boner is exhausting
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
