Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I just googled if crying burns calories
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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