I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
