i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
